Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
