Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
