I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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