Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....