Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.