Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
