I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I stole an accordion from the bar
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend