you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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