Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
