When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
