Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
