she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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