can u get pink eye on your cock?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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