he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
