Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
My bed smells like the plague
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
