i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
