honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
