in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Randomize