hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Say something about gay babies.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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