So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Randomize
