WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
