Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
