maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
