I think im going to throw up on grandma
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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