how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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