it's too hot outside to masturbate.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
