apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
