Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
only you would photoshop your dick
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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