HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize