Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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