That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
