well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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