It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
