i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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