i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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