That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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