Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
