Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
