Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
