U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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