I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
