Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
are you so shy because you have an std?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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