I'm going to jail i love you
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
