Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
