i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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