Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
