your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
