wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
