Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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