he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
We have started to decorate penises.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
