Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i will never coherently bang her
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
