Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
