Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
