Umm I'm too high to move.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
