'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize