I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
