and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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