the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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