Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
