Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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