Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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