i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
