Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
