I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
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At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
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I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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