This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
