So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize