508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
