It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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